I'm leaving on a jet plane...

Last night, upon posting an email on the adoption list serve I subscribe to, I received a very special email reply. Within moments upon reading its contents, it would change everything. "What is Brit going to think? How do I bring it up?" These thoughts were racing through my mind when at 11:10 p.m. Brit phoned to say he was on his way home from work. I was watching my Sex and The City DVDs, but my mind was somewhere else. I told him to drive safely and hurry home.

Around midnight Brit walked through the door. He immediately noticed how happy I was. "Did we get new pictures of Kennedy?", he asked inquisitively. "NO," I smugly replied. "Then what's up?" he questioned. "Oh, nothing. I just got this invitation to fly down to Guatemala in February with some of the other adopting mothers."

At first, Brit's reaction made me cry...and not in a good way. As I tried to explain the details, he claimed to be concerned about the additional expense. He wasn't jumping up and down with joy like I had hoped. I got quiet, stopped talking, and started crying as he sat across the room and looked at me, and then the floor, then at me, and then the floor. "Are you upset?" he asked. "Well, I wasn't upset until you came home," I too honestly replied with half a smile. "I'm worried about you," he continued. "Are you going to be able to come home without her?" There it was...the BIG question. The only reason why I wasn't already down to visit Kennedy. Can I handle the good-bye? And for the first time, as I looked up at Brit, I knew I could. I knew with the support of the other mothers accompanying me and the support of Brit and my entire family, I could handle it. It wasn't going to be easy, but I could do it.

Round one went to Brit, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I decided it was time to start round two. "I can do it," I stated with confidence. I went on to explain the other benefits of the visit trip. "Kennedy needs to meet me. It will make her transition into our family easier for her. And the other mother tells me how much better it will be for me to know the ropes before going down for our pick up. We will both be able to enjoy the pick up trip together because I will already be familiar with the surroundings." I went on and on and on. Poor guy, he didn't stand a chance. "Is the real reason you are upset is because you won't be with me?" Before he replied, I already knew the answer. Within the next few minutes, I won him over. He leaned down to give me a kiss and said, "Okay, you can go." "That's great," I replied, "but I wasn't asking for your permission." "I know," he said while shaking his head in agreement, "but if I really didn't want you to go, you wouldn't. You will come back, won't you?" I replied the only way I knew how...with the shrug of my shoulders.

I was very excited, but something was missing. I knew what it was. The other women were taking their mothers along. I am a first time Mommy. I can read all the books in the world about parenting, but nothing can compare to having my Mamma (pronounced Mam-maw, my grandmother) with me. Mamma would be hard to persuade. My mom may have been easier, but she was going to on an annual trip to Florida. I would have to win Mamma over...and soon. That brings us to today.

Cub Scout Pack 161 held their annual Pine Wood Derby contest. I talked Brit and Mom into being judges. I talked Mamma into coming along too. We all went together. After it was over we were going to breakfast, but first, my Mom wanted to make a quick stop at the butcher shop. While she went inside, the rest of us waited in the car. "Mamma, its been a while since you have been on a trip hasn't it?" "Yep," she replied, "it's time to go somewhere." "Well, in that case, how would you like to go with me to see Kennedy in February?" How could she say no?

We are in the process of making travel plans for 2/13-2/16. I will miss Valentine's Day with my husband, but will be spending it with my daughter. Words cannot express the sheer joy that I am feeling.