Merry Christmas From Kennedy

On Friday, December 21, 2007 I received a phone call from Carol. "I just emailed you pictures and I think you are really going to like them." I got off the phone and checked my email. "Merry Christmas from Kennedy" was in the subject line.

Since Kennedy's birth I knew it was not realistic to think that we would have her home for Christmas. I thought I was prepared for that. Then yesterday, out of the blue, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since that time, I have been pretty emotional. Adoptive mothers joke amongst themselves about "adoption hormones". Unless you have been through an adoption process, you have no idea the kind of roller coaster ride your emotions can take you on. So yes, this Christmas is bitter sweet. We have our daughter....we just don't have our daughter.

While talking with Carol, she said that even though we don't have our pre-approval yet, Paco registered our case with PGN. With the passage of a new adoption law in Guatemala, all in process adoptions must be registered with the "Central Authority" by December 31, 2007. By registering our case with PGN, Paco did just that. Our case should proceed as is.

I have posted a few more photos of Kennedy below. And as always, please keep us in your prayers. We still expect to have Kennedy home by April, but we need all of your prayers to help make that happen.

A Precious Gift

As you already know, we received word on positive DNA results on December 4, 2007. Since that time I have been waiting for a special envelope to arrive in the mail. Unlike some other Guatemala adopting parents, I knew to expect it. I was told early on in the process this would be something to be prepared for. Yes, I knew it was coming, but I didn't know how I was going to react. Yesterday, the envelope arrived. I was nervous and anxious at the same time. I wanted to open it carefully but also wanted to open it fast. There it was.....a picture of Kennedy being held by her birth mother.

This is part of the process to receive pre-approval. On the day the DNA test was taken, a picture was also taken of Kennedy and her birth mother. Further proving that "this child and this woman" have the same DNA.

The questions were racing in my head. What will she look like? How old will she be? I wonder why she made this decision? That is the tough question. I will never know why. I do not need to know why. If my daughter is anything like me, the day will come that she will be curious. I will have the picture. The picture of the woman that gave Kennedy life. The picture of the woman who changed mine......ours forever.

One of my questions was answered. Kennedy's mother and I are the same age. I found that so reassuring. An incredible calm washed over me. Then a flash back from a memory a year ago hit me like a ton of bricks.

In the Fall of 2006 I was at my OBGYN office. Through tears, I again told her that I wanted more then anything to be a mother. She looked deep into my eyes and said, "There is no reason why you can't at least be expecting a baby a year from now." We tried fertility treatment again. In December 2006, I had all the symptoms of being pregnant. I was devastated to find out I wasn't.

At that time, my doctor's words kept rining through my ears, "...next year". I kept praying. Here I am, right on schedule. Again, God had a different plan than what I was expecting. Our baby was born in the Fall 2007.....just as predicted!

I will always carry a special place in my heart for Kennedy's birth mother. She has given me a precious gift. I will be forever grateful. And as the years go by, I will try to answer the questions Kennedy will have.

Christmas Package!

We are sending a care package to Kennedy for Christmas. Please enjoy some pictures of her new outfits in sizes 3-6 months. We are also sending more hair bows, bibs, blankets, and toys! I've added a few more photos at the bottom of the page.

We Have A Match!

I just got an email from Carol that the lab faxed her confirmation and we have a positive DNA match! Now we wait for the American Consulate to issue Pre-Approval and then we can enter PGN. Right now Pre-Approval is taking 60 days to receive, but cases have been approved in as little as 20 days. So please keep the prayers coming. We appreciate everyone's love and support and could not do this without you!

Mommy's Little Girl

Today would have been my Papa's seventy-fourth birthday. We lost him to Parkinson's Disease almost three years ago. I truly believe that Papa has been beside me every step of our adoption process. When I need it, I call upon him for strength. I ask him to look over Kennedy and be her guardian angel. Perhaps it was Papa's birthday today that inspired me to to write a poem for Kennedy, "Mommy's Little Girl".

Mommy’s little girl was alive in Mommy’s heart long before baby’s first breath.
Mommy prayed for her for so long;
starting a journal seven years before she was born.

She already knew what her name would be,
Kennedy Marguerite, Mommy whispered with glee.

Mommy just knew she would have a little girl.
“I’ll teach her to shoot hoops and a baton to twirl!”

Mommy imagined what she would look like. “I hope she has my dark hair and dark eyes.
I hope she has olive skin like mine.”

Yes, Mommy knew someday Kennedy Marguerite
would make our loving family complete.

As the days turned into months, and the months turned into years,
Mommy kept praying for Kennedy through all the tears.

Some days were more difficult for Mommy.
She would talk to Daddy and he would reassure her calmly.

Mommy kept wondering, “Can we adopt?”
But before she would say it out loud, something would always make her stop.

“What if adoption wasn’t the option? Then what would we do?”

Mommy prayed to God for guidance. Then one day Mommy was at Grammy’s pool
and Mamma was there too.

Mamma told Mommy a wonderful story
about the Maneval’s, Guatemala, and Lorrie.

Mamma said, “Give Lorrie a call.”
And Mommy thought, “Could this be the path to our baby after all?”

It was at that moment Mommy realized
this was the sign. It took her by surprise.

So later that night, Mommy talked to Daddy,
and we were both so very ecstatically happy!

Mommy called Lorrie the very next day.
But for one week Lorrie had to put our meeting on delay.

As more and more anticipation was built,
our hearts, with joy, were over filled.

When the day arrived, Mommy held Daddy’s hand
as Lorrie explained the adoption plan.

As tears streamed down Mommy’s face,
Lorrie uttered the words that would change our life’s pace.

“It is all possible,” Lorrie repeated.
And for the very first time, Mommy truly believed it.

The Bad News and The Good News

First the Bad News.....Kennedy has not yet been DNA tested. The Good News....it will be done on Wednesday. The Better News.....the social worker interview will be done on the same day. (This is part of the process before we can get Pre-Approval, so at least we will not have to wait for that to take place!) The Even Better News....Carol told me "all the kids" went to the Doctor on Friday or Saturday and I will get updated medical information and PICTURES soon!

Now I don't know what is meant by "All the kids". Is it everyone in the same foster home as Kennedy? Is it everyone who has Paco as their attorney? Or is it everyone who is with our agency? I'll see what I can find out!

Mom and I went shopping after work and I bought two new outfits for Kennedy! I promise I will take pictures of her next care package soon!

Keep the prayers coming!

Picture Time!

We received photos and a medical update! The photos were taken on 11/16/07, Kennedy is 7 weeks and two days old in these photos. Today, she is one day shy of being 8 weeks old. Her weight at her medical appointment on 11/16/07 was 7 lbs. 6 oz. She looks so big in the pictures with her full cheeks, but she is still a little squirt! Her length was 52.3 cms. (Don't ask me to convert that to inches!) I can't believe the change in appearance from the photos that were taken three weeks ago! She takes my breath away! More photos are posted at the bottom of the page.

DNA Authorization!

We have DNA authorization! Carol sent me an email late last night, I didn't receive it until this morning. Our attorney in Guatemala was finally able to get DNA authorization. As a matter of fact, Kennedy and her birth mother should have the DNA test done tomorrow. This is part of the process to confirm that she is indeed the biological birth mother. Once we have the test results, we can move forward from the stagnant position we are currently in. I prayed so hard for this last night as I was going to bed. Little did I know that God had already answered my prayers. Carol also said she should have updated medical records and photos for us today! We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!

When?

I heard other adoptive mothers talk about the difficult "wait". Technically, I have only been waiting for Kennedy for six weeks. But when I really think about it, I have been waiting for her my entire married life. Over the years the prayers have changed, but even now they still share a common theme...when? The questions I ask God always begin with "when". When will the call come that we can go get her? When will I hold her for the very first time? When will I be able to bring her home? When will I be able to introduce her to her anxious family?

When we were trying to conceive I would pray to God for a sign. "I can wait", I told him. "It doesn't have to be this month. Just send me a sign that it will happen some day." As I reflect back on those tear filled prayers, I can't help but think that God already had me in training. He was trying to teach me patience, because he knew "this wait" would be the hardest. If there was only a date to circle on the calendar. When you are pregnant, you have a date. When you adopt, you have a wait.

In many ways this process has been very fast for us. We knew about Kennedy two months before we originally thought we would receive a referral. The process has slowed for us slightly. I spoke with Carol on Wednesday evening. She thought Paco (our Attorney in Guatemala) would have DNA authorization this week. I have not heard back from her to confirm. She also thought we would get a medical update and more pictures.

One thing that helps with the wait, is getting ready for Kennedy. Tonight I am washing clothes (sizes 3-6 months) to send to her in the next care package. As I've said before, laundry has never been so fun! I will post pictures of her new outfits soon. And hopefully, new pictures of Kennedy will be posted soon too!

What's in a name?

Kennedy Marguerite Seigler-Lewis. What does her name mean? I can't tell you what it means, but I can tell you how it came to be. Ever since I was a senior in high school, I knew this would be my daughter's name (except for the Lewis part!). Yes, she is named after one of the greatest Presidents in American History. But actually, I heard the name Kennedy on an old NBC sitcom, Blossom. In one of the last seasons of the television series, Kennedy was the little girl whose mother married Blossom's dad. (Isn't it bizarre how you remember these things?) Since that time, I have become aware of two other little girls who also have the name Kennedy.

Marguerite is the name of my grandmother. I could write an entire book about her. It was difficult for most people to pronounce her name, let alone spell it, but I always thought it was unique. I wanted Kennedy to have a family name. I was always proud to be named Jennie Elizabeth after my great-grandmother. I know Kennedy will be proud to be named after her great-grandmother.

Seigler-Lewis. It never occurred to me to take my husband's name. It just never made any sense. Why should I give up my identity? I do not frown upon women who take their husband's last name. It is their choice. Just like it is my choice to keep my last name. This was my line of thinking even before I ever met Briton. One of the things that attracted me to him most was the way he embraced (and even shared some of) my feminist qualities. After we were engaged, I brought up the "name". "If you want me to hyphenate my last name, I will. But only if you hyphenate yours." His response, "I don't want to change my name and I don't want you to change yours." Are we perfect for each other or what? This is hard for some people to understand. "Why don't you want to take his last name? I loved my husband enough to take his. " These are the criticisms I get (even from my own family) after 6 years of marriage. I have decided that they will never get it. You see, it is not about my husband. The name is about me. It is about who I am. My husband knows my love for him is endless and unconditional. He doesn't need me to change my name to prove it. Why would we give our daughter just the last name of Seigler or Lewis? "But it is so long," is one of the favorite rationals for only giving her one last name. My response: It is only 12 letters. My mother's maiden name was 10 letters long. I don't see the problem. Kennedy will be raised to be an independent thinker. If she chooses to go by only one last name, that will be her choice. Do you see a theme here? Women....being able to make choices. So, for the very last time, her name chosen by her father and I is Kennedy Marguerite Seigler-Lewis.

More Paperwork

Yesterday Carol called to inquire about our DNA Affidavit. She did not have one in our file. She emailed it to me later that day. She also received word from our attorney in Guatemala that I should revise my Name Affidavit to include Lewis, even though Lewis has never been my legal name. I am happy to do anything to expedite the process! Brit is taking the documents today to be notarized and will mail them so they arrive to Carol in California on Monday. Hopefully Kennedy will be DNA tested within the next two weeks. Once that occurs the ball really starts rolling for us!

Our Video of Kennedy

Our very first video of Kennedy arrived in the mail today. I was making a toasted cheese sandwich for Brit when he went out to the mailbox. He came into the house and yelled "Turn it off!" I knew that meant the video had arrived. He could not open it fast enough. As he was placing the video in the VCR, my eyes began to fill with tears. I wanted to stand right in front of the television so I could take in every tiny detail. However, Brit standing so close to me makes Lily bark and that was extremely distracting, so we both sat down beside each other to watch and listen to Kennedy. I cried the entire time.

This is my version of an ultrasound video. You can see your baby and still not be able to hold her. At that moment, nothing else in the world seemed to matter. In front of me was the baby I have prayed for. "This is really her," I kept telling myself. I could picture her home with us and within seconds I could imagine her as a toddler, her first day of school, and her college graduation. Knowing that I have a lifetime to spend with her makes the wait tolerable.

I never imagined feeling this overwhelming and intense love for someone I have never even met. It is truly indescribable. I just keep picturing the day when I get to hold her in my arms. I cannot thank Carol enough for taking this video for us. During her visit trips to Guatemala, she takes the time to visit her waiting children in their foster homes. The experience is priceless and I will be forever grateful to her. She was talking to Kennedy in the video and said, "Say hola to mommy. Say hola to poppy." I will dream tonight of someday hearing those words come out of Kennedy's mouth.

Kennedy Marguerite Enters Our Lives

On September 28, 2007 we received a call from Carol (Director of Guatemala Miracles in California) asking if we would be ready to accept a referral at this time. She said she would be in touch with me once she had more details. We anxiously awaited her call.

On October 1, 2007 Carol stated she would be sending us photos and medical information for a baby girl born on 9/26/07. She was waiting to get the information from the attorney in Guatemala. We kept checking our email to see if they arrived.

On the morning of October 3, 2007 Brit and I were leaving for a day trip to Clarion for the Autumn Leaf Festival. I checked email at 6:30 a.m. before we left. The photos had arrived!

During the following week we finished getting all of our paper work in order and sent all of our documents to the adoption agency. We also sent our first care package, but it did not arrive in California in time to travel to Guatemala with Carol. She will be sending it down with a family that will soon be traveling.

October 22, 2007 Carol visits Kennedy in Guatemala and we receive new photos. We anxiously await for a video of Kennedy to arrive in the mail.

September 5, 2007

We received our passports in the mail on Friday, August 31, 2007. It was exactly 4 weeks since we completed the application and delivered to the Juniata County Prothonatary’s Office. We thought it would take closer to 12 weeks to get them back. We are hoping this quick turn-a-round time follows us into CIS.

We received the notarized copies of our home study in the mail yesterday. I got all of the materials together to send to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Brit is getting a money order for $860 today and sending everything to Philadelphia priority mail. According to the CIS website, it is currently taking 3 months to process I600-A forms. I would really like to have approval and a referral for a baby by Thanksgiving!

This past weekend Brit and I traveled to Pittsburgh to share our news with his family. We first told his Mom and Paul shortly after we arrived on Saturday evening. They are both excited for us. We asked Carol if she wanted to come with us to Guatemala when the time comes to pick up the baby. She was very honored to be asked. She is planning on when would be the best time to get her passport!

The next day, we arrived at the Lewis picnic. Brit told his Dad and Lois immediately. They both started crying and are very excited to hear of our news. We then told Brit’s siblings. Everyone is very supportive! I couldn’t believe how fast news travels! Within minutes we were flooded with congratulations from everyone at the picnic!

August 28, 2007

The last four weeks have been filled with the “paper chase”. Brit and I have multiple copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, criminal history clearance, child abuse clearance, health letter, and name affidavit. We applied for our passports on August 3, 2007. I hope to have them in 3-4 months. I feel like an expectant mother! Every chance I get I tell people we are adopting! This weekend (Labor Day Weekend) we will travel to Pittsburgh to spend time with the Lewis Family. This will be the first time they get to hear the news. I am so excited, I can barely keep from blurting it out when we are talking to any family member on the phone. I will keep my lips sealed and give Brit the honor of telling his family.

I met with Lorrie last week and spoke with her again on the phone last night. She has completed our home study and was getting it notarized last night. Yesterday was her first day of school and she came home exhausted.

I have been trying to reach Carol in California to get assistance completing our I600-A form. I want to get that in the mail to USCIS this week now that our home study is complete. There are some questions I cannot answer without her guidance.

The week of July 30, 2007 Brit began the nursery transformation. We wanted to rip out the old carpet and redo the hardwood floor underneath. We just happened to pick the most humid days of the summer (because Mamma, Mom and Mike were in Maine), so we had difficulty with the stain drying. Now the floor is complete, but Brit needs to finish putting up the trim around the base boards. I hope to have the room put back together this week. Then, we can finally show off the hard work!

On August 21, 2007 we made our first trip to Babies’ R Us. We did not but anything, but just wanted to start looking. Of course we had to have fun and that happened when we were looking at the strollers. I love the feel of the jogger strollers, but there is not much room for diaper bag, etc. We left the store and then went to Borders’ Book Store. We bought two great books on adoption. I have read one of them already and it will continue to serve as a great resource through the entire process.

I can’t wait to start buying baby books and toys for the nursery. I want to make a book for the baby so when we get the referral, we can send it to the Foster Mom to read on our behalf. It should be in both Spanish and English. I am wanting to purchase some type of educational tool to help me learn Spanish again. I want to be able to keep the language alive for our little one. Being bi-lingual will be valuable in society.

On August 26, 2007 I became a registered user on Carol’s adoption list serve. Some of the articles are freaking me out. I am becoming scared to travel due to some political unrest, but will stop at nothing to bring my baby home. I just hope we can complete the process before anything happens that might stop all adoptions to America.

July 23, 2007

This morning I emailed some friends to share our news. I want them to know, but I am too emotionally drained to tell them in person or over the phone. However, we really need their support!

July 22, 2007

We wanted to tell my Dad and Rhonda in person. We went over to their house for lunch. Of course I couldn’t get through it without crying. Dad was quiet (just like Justin). They are both happy for us. We understand that we had a lot of time to make the decision and that it could be a little overwhelming for others to absorb right away!

I called Grandma Seigler later that afternoon to share the news. She was happy and wanted to know if I was going to continue working. Unfortunately……I will have to keep working. Aunt Carole Sue called later that evening. I filled her in on the news. She is very happy and told us to let them know if there is anything they can do.

It feels real now.

July 19, 2007

I will refer to today as “Kick Off Day”. We met with Lorrie to go over the process. There was so much we did not know about. She gave us a nice thick packet of paper work to complete. Our next step is the home study. Lorrie will come to do that on Monday, July 23, 2007.

We asked Justin and Alicia to be the legal guardians of our baby. Alicia cried and Justin was speechless. I told them to think it over, that we didn’t need an answer right away. Alicia did not need any time…she said of course they would be the guardians.