Crib Pictures

The pictures say it all! When Lily couldn't provide poodle powered assistance, Brit called for back up.......his mother-in-law! The assembly took place on Saturday, January 12, 2008. Now we just need crib bedding and a chaning table. The quilt displayed on the crib was handmade for Kennedy as a Christmas Gift from Nana Seigler.

27 days and counting...

....until I meet Kennedy for the very first time!

My friends tell me that my entries have been real "tear jerkers" lately, so I will keep this one up beat and light hearted.

Mamma (pronounced Mam-maw, my grandmother) booked our flight today for Guatemala. Unfortunately we will not be staying in Guatemala City where the other adoptive mothers will be. We will be in Antigua which is 45 minutes away, but beautiful! I am disappointed I will not be able to meet them on this trip, but am looking forward to the "Mommy & Me Time" I will be spending with Kennedy. More good news...we extended our trip an extra day! We will now be flying back on 2/17/08 giving us an extra day with Kennedy! Brit and I are going shopping tomorrow to pick up items for Kennedy. She will have a suitcase all to herself!

I'll try to post pictures this weekend of Brit assembling the crib. I didn't think it was possible to love him any more. But when I see him doing "Daddy Work", I fall for him all over again. I just know the first time I see him holding Kennedy it will melt my heart.

All for now. I need to go brush up on my Spanish. Hasta luego!

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

Last night, upon posting an email on the adoption list serve I subscribe to, I received a very special email reply. Within moments upon reading its contents, it would change everything. "What is Brit going to think? How do I bring it up?" These thoughts were racing through my mind when at 11:10 p.m. Brit phoned to say he was on his way home from work. I was watching my Sex and The City DVDs, but my mind was somewhere else. I told him to drive safely and hurry home.

Around midnight Brit walked through the door. He immediately noticed how happy I was. "Did we get new pictures of Kennedy?", he asked inquisitively. "NO," I smugly replied. "Then what's up?" he questioned. "Oh, nothing. I just got this invitation to fly down to Guatemala in February with some of the other adopting mothers."

At first, Brit's reaction made me cry...and not in a good way. As I tried to explain the details, he claimed to be concerned about the additional expense. He wasn't jumping up and down with joy like I had hoped. I got quiet, stopped talking, and started crying as he sat across the room and looked at me, and then the floor, then at me, and then the floor. "Are you upset?" he asked. "Well, I wasn't upset until you came home," I too honestly replied with half a smile. "I'm worried about you," he continued. "Are you going to be able to come home without her?" There it was...the BIG question. The only reason why I wasn't already down to visit Kennedy. Can I handle the good-bye? And for the first time, as I looked up at Brit, I knew I could. I knew with the support of the other mothers accompanying me and the support of Brit and my entire family, I could handle it. It wasn't going to be easy, but I could do it.

Round one went to Brit, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I decided it was time to start round two. "I can do it," I stated with confidence. I went on to explain the other benefits of the visit trip. "Kennedy needs to meet me. It will make her transition into our family easier for her. And the other mother tells me how much better it will be for me to know the ropes before going down for our pick up. We will both be able to enjoy the pick up trip together because I will already be familiar with the surroundings." I went on and on and on. Poor guy, he didn't stand a chance. "Is the real reason you are upset is because you won't be with me?" Before he replied, I already knew the answer. Within the next few minutes, I won him over. He leaned down to give me a kiss and said, "Okay, you can go." "That's great," I replied, "but I wasn't asking for your permission." "I know," he said while shaking his head in agreement, "but if I really didn't want you to go, you wouldn't. You will come back, won't you?" I replied the only way I knew how...with the shrug of my shoulders.

I was very excited, but something was missing. I knew what it was. The other women were taking their mothers along. I am a first time Mommy. I can read all the books in the world about parenting, but nothing can compare to having my Mamma (pronounced Mam-maw, my grandmother) with me. Mamma would be hard to persuade. My mom may have been easier, but she was going to on an annual trip to Florida. I would have to win Mamma over...and soon. That brings us to today.

Cub Scout Pack 161 held their annual Pine Wood Derby contest. I talked Brit and Mom into being judges. I talked Mamma into coming along too. We all went together. After it was over we were going to breakfast, but first, my Mom wanted to make a quick stop at the butcher shop. While she went inside, the rest of us waited in the car. "Mamma, its been a while since you have been on a trip hasn't it?" "Yep," she replied, "it's time to go somewhere." "Well, in that case, how would you like to go with me to see Kennedy in February?" How could she say no?

We are in the process of making travel plans for 2/13-2/16. I will miss Valentine's Day with my husband, but will be spending it with my daughter. Words cannot express the sheer joy that I am feeling.

Central Authority Established

Not to worry...Senator Casey's office has not been bombarded with telephone calls...yet. As I just looked at my last entry, I figured I am now on some government watch list. I might call next week if we still do not have our pre-approval. Today marks 38 days that we have been waiting. Just two months ago the wait was only 20 days. The typical length right now is 45 days. (That means next week should be our week!)

I received a wonderful email from Carol on Wednesday. The Central Authority (CA) has been created! In-process cases will be grandfathered into the old system. This is good news! Because CA is very new, there is still no word on the process for registering cases. However, this means that once we get kicked out of PGN, we can register with the CA and get back into PGN again (As soon as we have our pre-approval!) We officially entered PGN on 12/20/07. We can't re-enter PGN without our pre-approval. So please pray that the stars are aligned and we get our pre-approval within the same week we get kicked out of PGN so we can hurry up and get back into PGN again.

Brit and I are going to work on putting the crib together this weekend. Wish us luck! And thank you for your continued prayers for all families going through this process. Two of my adoption friends got word this month that they can go pick up their babies.

I get goose bumps just thinking about it! I keep daydreaming about the plane ride to Guatemala and meeting our daughter for the very first time. Wow! I might not stop crying for a month!

Adoption Bi-polar Disorder

In college I had the opportunity to take several psychology classes. (Hey, anyone with a degree in political science could benefit with a little psychology insight.) In my Introduction to Psychology course, one of our topics was bi-polar disorder. This is when a person suffers from extreme highs followed by extreme lows.

I received an email from Carol on Thursday in response to my request for clarification with PGN. Are we in PGN or are we on a list so PGN knows are adoption was in process before 12/31/07? Carol responded that yes, we were indeed in PGN and would be issued a PGN number and everything. (EXTREME HIGH) This is good news, but we already know we are going to get kicked out of PGN because we did not yet receive Pre-Approval from the embassy.

Thursday night I was checking my email and came across a disturbing post regarding Internet rumors that PGN was not processing any more cases unless they were already on the desk of the final signature. (EXTREME LOW)

My friend Deb called me to see how I was doing. I enjoy talking to her about the adoption and love hearing the insight she can provide from her own Guatemalan Adoption Journey. (EXTREME HIGH) Deb knows I have my heart set on bringing Kennedy home in April. As a friend, she needed to tell me to prepare myself in case that doesn't happen. She was devastated when her adoption was delayed and the month she thought she was bringing home her baby girl past by. I knew Deb was right, I couldn't keep focusing on April, I had to prepare myself for May, June, July....... (EXTREME LOW)

I have already been day dreaming of taking Kennedy to Myrtle Beach in June. What if that doesn't happen?!?!?!? (EXTREME LOW)

I went upstairs to Kennedy's room. I folded up the clothes I just washed for her and put them away so carefully. I picked up the angel snow globe Mamma gave us for Christmas in memory of Papa. I turned it over to wind the key and play the song. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of Kennedy's room. I prayed, I cried, I prayed some more. "God, please help me. Why is this happening? It is not fair. Papa, please watch over baby Kennedy. Keep her safe and bring her home soon." I cried so hard my throat was hurting. I started screaming and pleading as I prayed. "What am I supposed to do? Tell me what to do! Is Kennedy my ultimate test in politics? Is this why I interned for Bobby Casey when he was Auditor General...to call him now that he is a US Senator and get his help? Was this in your plan, God, all along?" I stood up, took one last smell of Kennedy's freshly washed quilt that Nana Rhonda made for her. (I love the smell of dreft detergent. It just smells like baby.) I turned out the lights in Kennedy's room and retreated to my bed. "Yes," I thought, "that is what I am supposed to do. I will call Senator Casey tomorrow. He has to help me." (I feel at peace again.)

This morning I awoke feeling awful. I new it was my nerves. I went into work late. Before I left, I checked my email. There was another post. Basically I was told rumors were true. A credible adoption site posted that cases kicked out of PGN would be at a standstill until the Central Authority was up and running. (EXTREME LOW) Tears flowed and Brit tried to calm me down, but I knew he was feeling just as devastated. I pulled myself together and left for work. I called Brit while I was out getting lunch. He listened to me as I vented. "This is the first time I am actually pissed!" I yelled. "How dare they do this to us! I am calling Bobby Casey. I will have Mama make phone calls to. I have to do something." Brit reassured me. "Okay, we can do that. It's Friday, let's just wait until next week when we know there will be someone we can talk to at his office." (My husband... a man of reason.) "Okay," I said. "I am going through the dive-thru, I will call you back after I get my food."

As I drove to a spot by the river to park and have a peaceful lunch, my phone rang. It was Carol. I held my breath as I answered the phone. "Hi, Jennie. It's Carol, how are you?" "Pretty stressed right now, " I replied. "Is it because of what you've been reading on the Internet?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "Well, that is why I am calling." I pulled off the road. I knew right then and there if she had bad news, someone was going to have to come pick me up. I was going to be too upset to drive.

Carol explained that PGN was still processing cases. (EXTREME HIGH) But if your case gets kicked out (and we know ours will) it cannot be resubmitted to PGN until after it is registered with the Central Authority (which hasn't been created yet). (EXTREME LOW) But, the Central Authority could be up and running within 10 days. (EXTREME HIGH) There is a meeting tonight where Carol and others will be advocating that PGN keeps processing cases, even if the Central Authority is not yet up and running. She should have more news on Monday.

I have now diagnosed myself with Adoption Bi-Polar Disorder. Can anyone blame me?

Happy New Year!

As 2007 was winding down, I found myself very excited for 2008! In previous years, there was always something holding me back from truly celebrating the New Year. Deep down, I knew what it was...but I never shared it with anyone. In my heart I was always a little sad. "Another year without being any closer to a baby," is what would always go through my mind. I would start doing the math and know that no baby would be coming with us to the beach in June either. Those were always the two toughest times of the year for me........Christmas and our annual vacation to Myrtle Beach in June. "Maybe next year," I would tell myself.

As Brit, my grandmother, and I sat and watched the ball dropped in Times Square, tears started to build. As soon as Brit leaned over to give me the "Happy New Year Kiss"....the tears were streaming. We opened a bottle of champagne and toasted in the New Year and Kennedy. This is the year we have waited for. This is the year our dreams come true. This is the year we bring our baby home.

May God bless all of us in 2008 and I pray he brings Kennedy home quickly and safe.