Not to worry...Senator Casey's office has not been bombarded with telephone calls...yet. As I just looked at my last entry, I figured I am now on some government watch list. I might call next week if we still do not have our pre-approval. Today marks 38 days that we have been waiting. Just two months ago the wait was only 20 days. The typical length right now is 45 days. (That means next week should be our week!)
I received a wonderful email from Carol on Wednesday. The Central Authority (CA) has been created! In-process cases will be grandfathered into the old system. This is good news! Because CA is very new, there is still no word on the process for registering cases. However, this means that once we get kicked out of PGN, we can register with the CA and get back into PGN again (As soon as we have our pre-approval!) We officially entered PGN on 12/20/07. We can't re-enter PGN without our pre-approval. So please pray that the stars are aligned and we get our pre-approval within the same week we get kicked out of PGN so we can hurry up and get back into PGN again.
Brit and I are going to work on putting the crib together this weekend. Wish us luck! And thank you for your continued prayers for all families going through this process. Two of my adoption friends got word this month that they can go pick up their babies.
I get goose bumps just thinking about it! I keep daydreaming about the plane ride to Guatemala and meeting our daughter for the very first time. Wow! I might not stop crying for a month!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
Adoption Bi-polar Disorder
In college I had the opportunity to take several psychology classes. (Hey, anyone with a degree in political science could benefit with a little psychology insight.) In my Introduction to Psychology course, one of our topics was bi-polar disorder. This is when a person suffers from extreme highs followed by extreme lows.
I received an email from Carol on Thursday in response to my request for clarification with PGN. Are we in PGN or are we on a list so PGN knows are adoption was in process before 12/31/07? Carol responded that yes, we were indeed in PGN and would be issued a PGN number and everything. (EXTREME HIGH) This is good news, but we already know we are going to get kicked out of PGN because we did not yet receive Pre-Approval from the embassy.
Thursday night I was checking my email and came across a disturbing post regarding Internet rumors that PGN was not processing any more cases unless they were already on the desk of the final signature. (EXTREME LOW)
My friend Deb called me to see how I was doing. I enjoy talking to her about the adoption and love hearing the insight she can provide from her own Guatemalan Adoption Journey. (EXTREME HIGH) Deb knows I have my heart set on bringing Kennedy home in April. As a friend, she needed to tell me to prepare myself in case that doesn't happen. She was devastated when her adoption was delayed and the month she thought she was bringing home her baby girl past by. I knew Deb was right, I couldn't keep focusing on April, I had to prepare myself for May, June, July....... (EXTREME LOW)
I have already been day dreaming of taking Kennedy to Myrtle Beach in June. What if that doesn't happen?!?!?!? (EXTREME LOW)
I went upstairs to Kennedy's room. I folded up the clothes I just washed for her and put them away so carefully. I picked up the angel snow globe Mamma gave us for Christmas in memory of Papa. I turned it over to wind the key and play the song. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of Kennedy's room. I prayed, I cried, I prayed some more. "God, please help me. Why is this happening? It is not fair. Papa, please watch over baby Kennedy. Keep her safe and bring her home soon." I cried so hard my throat was hurting. I started screaming and pleading as I prayed. "What am I supposed to do? Tell me what to do! Is Kennedy my ultimate test in politics? Is this why I interned for Bobby Casey when he was Auditor General...to call him now that he is a US Senator and get his help? Was this in your plan, God, all along?" I stood up, took one last smell of Kennedy's freshly washed quilt that Nana Rhonda made for her. (I love the smell of dreft detergent. It just smells like baby.) I turned out the lights in Kennedy's room and retreated to my bed. "Yes," I thought, "that is what I am supposed to do. I will call Senator Casey tomorrow. He has to help me." (I feel at peace again.)
This morning I awoke feeling awful. I new it was my nerves. I went into work late. Before I left, I checked my email. There was another post. Basically I was told rumors were true. A credible adoption site posted that cases kicked out of PGN would be at a standstill until the Central Authority was up and running. (EXTREME LOW) Tears flowed and Brit tried to calm me down, but I knew he was feeling just as devastated. I pulled myself together and left for work. I called Brit while I was out getting lunch. He listened to me as I vented. "This is the first time I am actually pissed!" I yelled. "How dare they do this to us! I am calling Bobby Casey. I will have Mama make phone calls to. I have to do something." Brit reassured me. "Okay, we can do that. It's Friday, let's just wait until next week when we know there will be someone we can talk to at his office." (My husband... a man of reason.) "Okay," I said. "I am going through the dive-thru, I will call you back after I get my food."
As I drove to a spot by the river to park and have a peaceful lunch, my phone rang. It was Carol. I held my breath as I answered the phone. "Hi, Jennie. It's Carol, how are you?" "Pretty stressed right now, " I replied. "Is it because of what you've been reading on the Internet?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "Well, that is why I am calling." I pulled off the road. I knew right then and there if she had bad news, someone was going to have to come pick me up. I was going to be too upset to drive.
Carol explained that PGN was still processing cases. (EXTREME HIGH) But if your case gets kicked out (and we know ours will) it cannot be resubmitted to PGN until after it is registered with the Central Authority (which hasn't been created yet). (EXTREME LOW) But, the Central Authority could be up and running within 10 days. (EXTREME HIGH) There is a meeting tonight where Carol and others will be advocating that PGN keeps processing cases, even if the Central Authority is not yet up and running. She should have more news on Monday.
I have now diagnosed myself with Adoption Bi-Polar Disorder. Can anyone blame me?
I received an email from Carol on Thursday in response to my request for clarification with PGN. Are we in PGN or are we on a list so PGN knows are adoption was in process before 12/31/07? Carol responded that yes, we were indeed in PGN and would be issued a PGN number and everything. (EXTREME HIGH) This is good news, but we already know we are going to get kicked out of PGN because we did not yet receive Pre-Approval from the embassy.
Thursday night I was checking my email and came across a disturbing post regarding Internet rumors that PGN was not processing any more cases unless they were already on the desk of the final signature. (EXTREME LOW)
My friend Deb called me to see how I was doing. I enjoy talking to her about the adoption and love hearing the insight she can provide from her own Guatemalan Adoption Journey. (EXTREME HIGH) Deb knows I have my heart set on bringing Kennedy home in April. As a friend, she needed to tell me to prepare myself in case that doesn't happen. She was devastated when her adoption was delayed and the month she thought she was bringing home her baby girl past by. I knew Deb was right, I couldn't keep focusing on April, I had to prepare myself for May, June, July....... (EXTREME LOW)
I have already been day dreaming of taking Kennedy to Myrtle Beach in June. What if that doesn't happen?!?!?!? (EXTREME LOW)
I went upstairs to Kennedy's room. I folded up the clothes I just washed for her and put them away so carefully. I picked up the angel snow globe Mamma gave us for Christmas in memory of Papa. I turned it over to wind the key and play the song. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of Kennedy's room. I prayed, I cried, I prayed some more. "God, please help me. Why is this happening? It is not fair. Papa, please watch over baby Kennedy. Keep her safe and bring her home soon." I cried so hard my throat was hurting. I started screaming and pleading as I prayed. "What am I supposed to do? Tell me what to do! Is Kennedy my ultimate test in politics? Is this why I interned for Bobby Casey when he was Auditor General...to call him now that he is a US Senator and get his help? Was this in your plan, God, all along?" I stood up, took one last smell of Kennedy's freshly washed quilt that Nana Rhonda made for her. (I love the smell of dreft detergent. It just smells like baby.) I turned out the lights in Kennedy's room and retreated to my bed. "Yes," I thought, "that is what I am supposed to do. I will call Senator Casey tomorrow. He has to help me." (I feel at peace again.)
This morning I awoke feeling awful. I new it was my nerves. I went into work late. Before I left, I checked my email. There was another post. Basically I was told rumors were true. A credible adoption site posted that cases kicked out of PGN would be at a standstill until the Central Authority was up and running. (EXTREME LOW) Tears flowed and Brit tried to calm me down, but I knew he was feeling just as devastated. I pulled myself together and left for work. I called Brit while I was out getting lunch. He listened to me as I vented. "This is the first time I am actually pissed!" I yelled. "How dare they do this to us! I am calling Bobby Casey. I will have Mama make phone calls to. I have to do something." Brit reassured me. "Okay, we can do that. It's Friday, let's just wait until next week when we know there will be someone we can talk to at his office." (My husband... a man of reason.) "Okay," I said. "I am going through the dive-thru, I will call you back after I get my food."
As I drove to a spot by the river to park and have a peaceful lunch, my phone rang. It was Carol. I held my breath as I answered the phone. "Hi, Jennie. It's Carol, how are you?" "Pretty stressed right now, " I replied. "Is it because of what you've been reading on the Internet?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "Well, that is why I am calling." I pulled off the road. I knew right then and there if she had bad news, someone was going to have to come pick me up. I was going to be too upset to drive.
Carol explained that PGN was still processing cases. (EXTREME HIGH) But if your case gets kicked out (and we know ours will) it cannot be resubmitted to PGN until after it is registered with the Central Authority (which hasn't been created yet). (EXTREME LOW) But, the Central Authority could be up and running within 10 days. (EXTREME HIGH) There is a meeting tonight where Carol and others will be advocating that PGN keeps processing cases, even if the Central Authority is not yet up and running. She should have more news on Monday.
I have now diagnosed myself with Adoption Bi-Polar Disorder. Can anyone blame me?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy New Year!
As 2007 was winding down, I found myself very excited for 2008! In previous years, there was always something holding me back from truly celebrating the New Year. Deep down, I knew what it was...but I never shared it with anyone. In my heart I was always a little sad. "Another year without being any closer to a baby," is what would always go through my mind. I would start doing the math and know that no baby would be coming with us to the beach in June either. Those were always the two toughest times of the year for me........Christmas and our annual vacation to Myrtle Beach in June. "Maybe next year," I would tell myself.
As Brit, my grandmother, and I sat and watched the ball dropped in Times Square, tears started to build. As soon as Brit leaned over to give me the "Happy New Year Kiss"....the tears were streaming. We opened a bottle of champagne and toasted in the New Year and Kennedy. This is the year we have waited for. This is the year our dreams come true. This is the year we bring our baby home.
May God bless all of us in 2008 and I pray he brings Kennedy home quickly and safe.
As Brit, my grandmother, and I sat and watched the ball dropped in Times Square, tears started to build. As soon as Brit leaned over to give me the "Happy New Year Kiss"....the tears were streaming. We opened a bottle of champagne and toasted in the New Year and Kennedy. This is the year we have waited for. This is the year our dreams come true. This is the year we bring our baby home.
May God bless all of us in 2008 and I pray he brings Kennedy home quickly and safe.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Merry Christmas From Kennedy
On Friday, December 21, 2007 I received a phone call from Carol. "I just emailed you pictures and I think you are really going to like them." I got off the phone and checked my email. "Merry Christmas from Kennedy" was in the subject line.
Since Kennedy's birth I knew it was not realistic to think that we would have her home for Christmas. I thought I was prepared for that. Then yesterday, out of the blue, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since that time, I have been pretty emotional. Adoptive mothers joke amongst themselves about "adoption hormones". Unless you have been through an adoption process, you have no idea the kind of roller coaster ride your emotions can take you on. So yes, this Christmas is bitter sweet. We have our daughter....we just don't have our daughter.
While talking with Carol, she said that even though we don't have our pre-approval yet, Paco registered our case with PGN. With the passage of a new adoption law in Guatemala, all in process adoptions must be registered with the "Central Authority" by December 31, 2007. By registering our case with PGN, Paco did just that. Our case should proceed as is.
I have posted a few more photos of Kennedy below. And as always, please keep us in your prayers. We still expect to have Kennedy home by April, but we need all of your prayers to help make that happen.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
A Precious Gift
As you already know, we received word on positive DNA results on December 4, 2007. Since that time I have been waiting for a special envelope to arrive in the mail. Unlike some other Guatemala adopting parents, I knew to expect it. I was told early on in the process this would be something to be prepared for. Yes, I knew it was coming, but I didn't know how I was going to react. Yesterday, the envelope arrived. I was nervous and anxious at the same time. I wanted to open it carefully but also wanted to open it fast. There it was.....a picture of Kennedy being held by her birth mother.
This is part of the process to receive pre-approval. On the day the DNA test was taken, a picture was also taken of Kennedy and her birth mother. Further proving that "this child and this woman" have the same DNA.
The questions were racing in my head. What will she look like? How old will she be? I wonder why she made this decision? That is the tough question. I will never know why. I do not need to know why. If my daughter is anything like me, the day will come that she will be curious. I will have the picture. The picture of the woman that gave Kennedy life. The picture of the woman who changed mine......ours forever.
One of my questions was answered. Kennedy's mother and I are the same age. I found that so reassuring. An incredible calm washed over me. Then a flash back from a memory a year ago hit me like a ton of bricks.
In the Fall of 2006 I was at my OBGYN office. Through tears, I again told her that I wanted more then anything to be a mother. She looked deep into my eyes and said, "There is no reason why you can't at least be expecting a baby a year from now." We tried fertility treatment again. In December 2006, I had all the symptoms of being pregnant. I was devastated to find out I wasn't.
At that time, my doctor's words kept rining through my ears, "...next year". I kept praying. Here I am, right on schedule. Again, God had a different plan than what I was expecting. Our baby was born in the Fall 2007.....just as predicted!
I will always carry a special place in my heart for Kennedy's birth mother. She has given me a precious gift. I will be forever grateful. And as the years go by, I will try to answer the questions Kennedy will have.
This is part of the process to receive pre-approval. On the day the DNA test was taken, a picture was also taken of Kennedy and her birth mother. Further proving that "this child and this woman" have the same DNA.
The questions were racing in my head. What will she look like? How old will she be? I wonder why she made this decision? That is the tough question. I will never know why. I do not need to know why. If my daughter is anything like me, the day will come that she will be curious. I will have the picture. The picture of the woman that gave Kennedy life. The picture of the woman who changed mine......ours forever.
One of my questions was answered. Kennedy's mother and I are the same age. I found that so reassuring. An incredible calm washed over me. Then a flash back from a memory a year ago hit me like a ton of bricks.
In the Fall of 2006 I was at my OBGYN office. Through tears, I again told her that I wanted more then anything to be a mother. She looked deep into my eyes and said, "There is no reason why you can't at least be expecting a baby a year from now." We tried fertility treatment again. In December 2006, I had all the symptoms of being pregnant. I was devastated to find out I wasn't.
At that time, my doctor's words kept rining through my ears, "...next year". I kept praying. Here I am, right on schedule. Again, God had a different plan than what I was expecting. Our baby was born in the Fall 2007.....just as predicted!
I will always carry a special place in my heart for Kennedy's birth mother. She has given me a precious gift. I will be forever grateful. And as the years go by, I will try to answer the questions Kennedy will have.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Christmas Package!
We are sending a care package to Kennedy for Christmas. Please enjoy some pictures of her new outfits in sizes 3-6 months. We are also sending more hair bows, bibs, blankets, and toys! I've added a few more photos at the bottom of the page.
We Have A Match!
I just got an email from Carol that the lab faxed her confirmation and we have a positive DNA match! Now we wait for the American Consulate to issue Pre-Approval and then we can enter PGN. Right now Pre-Approval is taking 60 days to receive, but cases have been approved in as little as 20 days. So please keep the prayers coming. We appreciate everyone's love and support and could not do this without you!
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